Thursday, April 13, 2017

What Fresh Hell Is This?

Every morning, I get up, start the coffee, turn on the TV to MSNBC or Reuters, check my smartphone for news, and then, after pouring myself a cup while scanning the headlines, I invariably yell out, "That motherfucker! He's fucked something else up!"

I think that from now on, I'll refer to t.Rump as "That Motherfucker!", or "T.M." for short. Saves time.

And today, That Motherfucker has threatened to destroy Obamacare by cutting off the federal subsidies that pay for millions of Americans' health insurance, if Democrats don't "negotiate" with him on the destruction of Obamacare:

Like a two-bit gangster, T.M. is threatening millions of American families, including millions of American fools who voted for him in the mistaken belief that he'd take care of them. Ohh, yeah, he's taking care of them, alright! Wake up, you idiots, or have your MAGA hats fried your brains? That Motherfucker is going to destroy your miserable lives!

And, if *that* wasn't bad enough news, also this morning, the Washington Post reports that T.M.'s administration is moving forward with his deranged plans for a Gestapo, errr...."deportation force":
"An internal Department of Homeland Security assessment obtained by The Washington Post shows the agency has already found 33,000 more detention beds to house undocumented immigrants, opened discussions with dozens of local police forces that could be empowered with enforcement authority and identified where construction of Trump’s border wall could begin.
The agency also is considering ways to speed up the hiring of hundreds of new Customs and Border Patrol officers, including ending polygraph and physical fitness tests in some cases, according to the documents."
Of course, That Motherfucker's new Black Shirts (or "SS" in the original German) won't be much smarter or better skilled than the guy in the drive-up window who asks you if you want fries with your shake. Why do they need know Spanish, anyway? And who really cares if they have criminal records? They're only guarding the border, and tossing people out of America - the only country that some of them have ever known - by the millions. Hell, they won't even need to be in shape! (Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers, here's an employment opportunity that's just right for you.) The New York Times reports:
Homeland Security’s plan to greatly expand its Border Patrol has been known for some time and includes adding about 5,000 agents, in part by allowing some applicants to skip the polygraph test that is required for all prospective hires.
The memo, which was first reported by The Washington Post, outlined several other ways in which the administration is considering relaxing hiring standards and stepping up recruitment.
Beyond removing the polygraph hurdle, the memo discusses eliminating a part of the entrance exam that tests the Spanish language skills of prospective hires, explaining that 'few applicants fail the entrance exam solely because of these tests.' New agents will still have to obtain 'the appropriate level of proficiency in Spanish' to graduate from the academy, the memo says.

All applicants must now pass two physical fitness tests, but the memo suggests that only one of the tests will count toward deciding whether to hire a Customs and Border Protection officer or a Border Patrol agent. Those who do not meet physical fitness standards at the academy, the document says, will 'receive additional training.'”
No Spanish proficiency required, no rigorous physical fitness necessary, felons please apply! Sounds tailor-made for the people of Wal-Mart, to me. And didn't That Motherfucker promise them that he'd bring the jobs back? Here they are! And you get to lord it over brown people, too!

With the trailer parks and rural shacks emptying out because of these new opportunities, the economy will be boosted by all the new Wal-Mart shoppers, prison guards and secret police, and fast food buyers & friers. We'll then be able to concentrate on the next important task: filling a critical position in government that I suspect will soon be opening, POTUS.