After listening to the "highlights" of the two Republican debates over the weekend, it finally came to me: Mitt Romney is Thurston Howell III.
No, seriously! Look at the similarities: Romney is a rich white guy who's out of touch with the lives of his fellow Americans; Mr. Howell treated the other castaways like servants, and spent his time counting the money he brought along for that fabled "three-hour cruise." Mr. Howell made his money from the misery of others; Mitt was a corporate raider, a real-life Gordon Gekko who, in his own words, "likes to fire people." Mr. Howell contributed nothing to the survival or rescue of the castaways; Mitt does the same for the benefit of his fellow Americans.
There's more! Mitt claims that "corporations are people;" a sentiment of which I'm certain Mr. Howell would approve. Mitt wants to "get government out of the way of the job creators;" in other words, deregulate everything in sight, no matter that deregulation got us into this mess in the first place. Mr. Howell believed in laissez-faire capitalism, just like Mitt. Mr. Howell spent money like it was just dirty paper; Mitt casually makes $10,000 bets.
What a joke...the Republican front-runner is a damn caricature from a Sixties sitcom.