Thursday, June 15, 2017

Here We Go Again

So Mike Pence, the whitest man in America, just lawyered up, hiring outside counsel to protect his exceedingly Caucasian ass from the special prosecutor. Meanwhile, Jared "Boy Wonder" Kushner is also being investigated for his business dealings, while his father-in-law continues to lose his shit on Twitter, and is reportedly considering firing Robert Mueller, the special prosecutor.

Shades of Watergate, and the Saturday Night Massacre! Nixonian? Nah. Nixon wasn't this stupid!--nor this criminal.

Recall that Jared's father, Charles Kushner, was convicted (by Chris Christie!--now you know why Christie didn't get a job with this administration) and imprisoned for three years on charges of tax evasion. Jared took over the family real estate business, and in recent years has been trying to unload 666 Fifth Avenue (the real address, swear to God!) for quite some time now, his $1.8 billion white elephant of an office building, and the most expensive purchase in Manhattan real estate history. The genius bought this piece of crap at the top of the market, right before mortgage-backed securities crashed and started the Great Recession! Sounds like Boy Wonder got "buy low, sell high" mixed up. Young Jared has reportedly been getting help selling it from the Chinese, starting right after the election. No, that doesn't look suspicious at all! No wonder Mueller wants to take a closer look at his business dealings.

While all this has been going on, Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign manager, has yet to explain how his name would up in a ledger maintained by the former Ukrainian dictator Viktor Yanukovych, next to a large number preceded by a dollar sign and followed by a lot of zeroes. And former national security adviser Mike Flynn has been trying to get immunity from prosecution, in exchange for telling his story to the special prosecutor. Gen. Mike somehow forgot to mention that he was in the pay of Turkey when he applied for his security clearance. He also forgot to mention the time he was Vladimir Putin's lunch guest, for another fat check. Hey, mistakes happen, especially while you're leading chants of "Lock her up!" And especially when you're trying to hide a half-million dollar paycheck from the FBI. So far, though, the special prosecutor isn't interested in making a deal with Flynn; apparently, they don't need his testimony to fry an orange-furred weasel.

In other news, Kellyanne Conway was seen choking down something she said on Twitter, something along the lines of "Most honest people I know are not under FBI investigation, let alone two." Would you like some fries with that, Kellyanne? How about a subpoena?

Meanwhile, Robert Mueller is assembling a team that includes experts on money laundering in eastern European countries, and mob prosecutors. 

What will become of all this? Well, Young Jared knows very well what the insides of Club Fed Penitentiary looks like, and he knows how long he'd last on the inside. Will he become Trump's John Dean? Mike Flynn also has a good idea of what happens to traitors. How much does he know? More importantly, why does Trump keep defending Flynn? What does Trump know, and when did he know it? And why does everyone around him seem to have talked with Russians over the last two years? Time will tell.

And, oh yeah: Jeff Sessions lied his ass off on Tuesday. More to come!

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