Monday, November 28, 2011

Bidding a Fond Farewell to a Favorite Target

"Well he loved plenty women from Canada to Mexico
They would to love to see him coming and hated when he had to go
A macho man before macho ever came to town
The only problem was not enough of him to go around."

I've lost count of how many women have accused Herman Cain of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and now this new charge of a 13-year extramarital affair? Negro, please!

It's not enough that the man doesn't seem to know where Libya is or what's happened there lately, not enough that he can't understand the simple math that proves that his simple "999" plan (and how come no one has mentioned that "999" is "666" inverted?) won't work, not enough that he doesn't seem to have any knowledge in depth about anything other than pizza (How do you say "delicious" in Cuban, Herman? Try "¡Soy un idiota!"). It doesn't seem to matter to Republican primary voters.

"You know he had had more romances than L.A.'s got stars
He had had more romances than Detroit's got cars
He's a, a legend in his own mind and God's gift to women
On a day God wasn't giving up a thing."

This field of Republican candidates for the presidency is a national embarrassment. Is it too much to ask that a person seeking the highest office in the land not be a serial liar, adulterer, buffoon, or creep? Is expecting that a person running for president has read a newspaper, internet news site, or magazine sometime within the last six months? I'm a lifelong progressive Democrat, but I expect some knowledge and competence from the opposition. So far, all I've seen that these GOP "candidates" are capable of is delivering pizza, cheating on their spouses, and hypocrisy. And that's not enough to offer to the American people.

"Well you hate to see him coming when you're grooving at your favorite bar
He's the death of the party and a self-proclaimed superstar
Got permanent Jones to assure you he's been everywhere
A show stopping name dropping answer to the ladies' prayers.

I've had it with Herman. He's too stupid to understand that no one believes his lies, and too arrogant to realize that the President has to read, lead, and achieve. As for the rest of the field, they're not anything to write home about either, unless your emails to Mom feature examples of boundless arrogance and rank stupidity.

"To hear him telling he had more romances than doctors got bills
He had had more romances than Beverly got Hills
He's a, a legend in his own mind and God's gift to women
On a day God wasn't giving up a thing."

So Hermie, I'm officially ignoring you, until the not-too-far-off day that your campaign ends, going out with a mad cacophony of lies, rage, bile, and tears; and you leave the stage to return to private life and the once-loving arms of your wife, who by that time will no doubt be waiting for you with a cast iron skillet in one hand and a pair of garden shears in the other. I foresee a great career opportunity for you in the starring role of "The John Bobbit Story!" You'd have to play it in whiteface, but you're used to that. Just smear some of that fake cheese that Godfather's uses on your face, put on a big, shit-eating grin, and smile as you reenact the climatic event without a stunt double.But this, as I said earlier, it's all becoming just too easy.

I'm ignoring you from now on, Herman, from today through the rest of the campaign, because frankly, you're just too easy.

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